Saturday, October 24, 2009

Caring for Nothing...

Why is it when you really care about something everyone else could care less? Or is that just how we feel? As I panic myself to death and dread the weeks to come, I'm the only one caring. My favorite hymn is "I Know That My Redeemers Lives", and the one part I love the most is he lives to hear my soul's complaints. I have done a lot of complaining these last couple days as I have a very naughty baby who won't turn herself around. But does he care or does he just hear my complaint? How do we give up control and just say oh well it is what it is? I'm so bad at that! I still have hope that I am panicking myself for nothing, and it probably won't be as bad as I'm making it out to be but can't anything ever, ever just be easy? This life is hard enough! How can we just gain more faith and just be ok, not scared, or sad, or lonely, just be ok?


Laura Beers said...

Wow....I really enjoyed your post. That is exactly how I have felt the last few days. I keep praying for the same thing (that jake will get a a paid internship next summer) and I just feel like he logs in the prayer and that is all.

Thank you for that post. I understand how you feel and let me know if you figure it out. That would help me a lot.

Kim said...

So many people care and are saying prayers on your behalf, and I believe the Lord hears and acts on those just may not be the answer we are hoping for. You may not be able to completely let go of the the anxiety and worry, but don't obsess over it. Just know that the Lord has provided great Dr's and drugs for a c-section and the most important result is a healthy baby. I've known people that have needed surgery for one thing, but during that surgery the Dr. saw and was able to treat a totally different ailment that might not have been recognized for years to come. Maybe a c-section is the only way to get your little girl into this world, and in the premortal life we agreed to do many things...maybe this is one? Or...maybe other people need the blessings that will come to them by being able to help and serve you! Don't deny yourself or anyone else of blessings! It will all be OK, the Lord wouldn't give you more than you could handle. You can do this no matter how it turns out!

Anonymous said...

Hey! It's Anna (was Carlson, now Pope) I lived w/ Scott and Laura and went to beauty school.
Anywho- I went through a surgery last August. I was SO nervous, and worried about everything... way more than I needed too be.
The morning of my surgery I was lying in the hallway on a gurney, outside of the O.R. completely awake and coherent. I turned my head to the left, and I could see inside the OR, and all the instruments they were going to use on me... and let me tell you, that didn't help things! (and I need to point out that when I got there it was so early in the morning that it was still dark out, and was still even semi-dark when I was wheeled into the hallway) well, I turned my head to the right, and there was the beautiful sun, rising. The spirit bore witness to me that everything I was going through was going to turn out all right, and that Jesus Christ knows me and He has experienced ALL of my pains and sufferings. It was one of those tender mercies that I needed in a fragile time in my life. When I felt lost, and alone, our Heavenly Father let me know, w/ a simple sunrise and nudge of the Spirit, that I am very much loved, and that everything I was going through was to build me up, and fortify my testimony. I want you to know that you'll be in my prayers. I pray that you'll have comfort, and that you will be blessed with strength, regardless of what's put before you.
Much love. Anna