I remember I got a phone call today from an agency (finally) but it wasn't a good phone call. We thought maybe going in a direction of foster to adopt would be a good option, but I just don't know how I could give the baby back to a crappy family when I know if they stayed with me I would give them the world and nothing but love. She said well ultimately the goal is to reunite them with their families because the best place for them is with their mom and dad. really because if the state is even involved in a family that's a problem to me...a huge problem!!! and ultimately I don't agree that that is the best place for the kids. I mostly feel like a chicken with my head cut off trying desparately to find a direction to go that will provide me with another child. How sad is that? I know you think well why don't you just do it again, (that's what my family says all the time and I really want to punch them when they ask that). I lost a huge! part of my life after Kaleigh, I was soo sick and anxious and couldn't travel couldn't do anything, it has taken me two years to finally get to the point where I could drive into town and not be so anxious and retarded. Maybe it wasn't due to being pregnant and it was just something that was going to happen but my pregnancy was the worst thing in the whole entire world, I would rather go through the scare and surgery of cancer again then have a baby. Plus in my heart I know this is what I am supposed to do I just thought it would be easier then this...and then to hear or know kids should be reunited with their loser parents, really makes my inards boil.
ok i will quit with my pitty party because really i am quite good at them...:)
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3 comments:
Give your little one an extra hug... she's a doll. I know I sure love mine! And there is nothing better than watching her grow! It's better that your healthy and there, then not being able to function. But, this whole having baby stuff sure is difficult to navigate at times! Best wishes!
I completely agree that a loving adoptive home (ie you!) is so much better than trying to keep children with parents that cannot adequately support them with the love and resources they need. I admire your determination with this and know that if you feel this is the right direction for your family then something will happen to make it possible. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, you are such a strong person!
Hey guys,
I had to catch up and see what the latest is. Sorry you are having such frustrations with adopting. Also brave of you to open up with your struggles. Heather's pregnancy has been difficult this time around as well. She was ready to have this little guy about eight months ago I think. Anyway, we miss you guys and Tucson.
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